The Kink Consultant
A sexologist and relationship coach interviews experts on navigating the emotional and practical realities of a kinky lifestyle.
This is an interview show that translates mainstream relationship and self-help expertise for the kink and BDSM community. Amanda Dames treats kink not just as a sexual act, but as a complete lifestyle with its own set of relational, emotional, and practical challenges. The podcast moves beyond basic explainers to explore the nuances of integrating kink into a balanced life.
“The show's unique angle is applying established therapeutic and coaching frameworks—like the 'five elements of intimacy' or 'emotional masculinity'—directly to BDSM and power exchange dynamics, making complex topics accessible and actionable.”
Who hosts this show
Amanda Dames is a Certified Sexologist and Somatica® Sex and Relationship Coach who hosts this weekly interview podcast. Her show, The Kink Consultant, provides an unfiltered look into kink lives, focusing on dynamics, desire, and self-discovery. She sits down with kinksters, authors, and other experts to discuss topics like power exchange, consent, and the psychology of desire, aiming to bridge the gap between mainstream relationship advice and the BDSM community.
Credentials & credits
- Certified Sexologist, American Board of Sexology
- Certified Somatica® Sex and Relationship Coach
- Former professional dominatrix
Other ventures
- The Kink Consultant (coaching practice)
- Online workshops and masterclasses
- Content creation on TikTok and Instagram
What kind of podcast
When new episodes drop
- 01Relationship Advice for Kinky Couples with Simone MilasasJun 26, 2026 · 41 min
- 02
- 03
- 04Finding Your Kinky Match: A Conversation with Kink Matchmaker Shea PrimusJun 11, 2026 · 55 min
- 05
- 06How to Bring Up Kink Without Sounding Creepy with Connell BarrettMay 22, 2026 · 48 min
- 07
- 08
Notable episodes
- 01Relationship Advice for Kinky Couples with Simone Milasas
Introduces the 'five elements of intimacy' (gratitude, trust, allowance, honor, and vulnerability) and applies them to both self-love and kinky dynamics.
- 02Emotional Masculinity: Breaking Down Toxic Masculinity... with Matt Salis
Tackles a controversial topic prompted by listener feedback, defining 'emotional masculinity' as an alternative to toxic tropes in the manosphere.
- 03Finding Your Kinky Match: A Conversation with Kink Matchmaker Shea Primus
Provides practical advice on the specifics of dating for kinky individuals, featuring a professional matchmaker who specializes in the lifestyle.
- 04How to Be Kinky as a Parent... with Athena Gale
Addresses a common but rarely discussed challenge: how to maintain a 24/7 power exchange dynamic while raising a child.
What you'll be asked on this show
Amanda Dames often opens an interview by setting a personal context or referencing a cultural conversation to frame the topic. Her first move is typically to establish the guest's origin story, asking what led them to their specific expertise. She probes for detail by asking for actionable advice for her listeners (e.g., "How can men signal they are emotionally safe?") or for real-world case studies ("Have you worked with someone who did the work to change?"). She frequently summarizes a guest's point to confirm her understanding before building on it to ask her next question, creating a collaborative and exploratory conversational flow.
Amanda Dames hosts solo interviews, often framing an episode with a personal story or by referencing listener feedback from a previous show. She actively summarizes guest points to guide the conversation and consistently connects expert advice back to her core audience. The podcast has a consistent musical intro and a warm, non-judgmental tone.
Questions the host keeps coming back to
11 cataloguedIf you're going on this show as a guest, expect some version of each of these. Each note explains when the host reaches for it.
origin
2- Q.01
“What made you specialize in your field of sexual health or relationships?”
This is often her opening question to establish a guest's origin story and credibility.
- Q.02
“Did your book or project come from your master's degree or a specific experience?”
She connects a guest's formal work and credentials to their personal and professional journey.
advice
5- Q.01
“How does your advice apply to people in the kinky lifestyle?”
She uses this to bridge a guest's mainstream expertise with her niche audience.
- Q.02
“How can men signal that they are emotionally safe in a grounded way?”
She often asks for concrete, practical advice that her audience can implement.
- Q.03
“Do you have advice for clawing your way out of shrinking in a relationship?”
This type of question asks for specific advice for listeners in a negative or difficult situation.
- Q.04
“What benefits can people expect from not keeping score in a relationship?”
She asks guests to articulate the positive outcomes of following their proposed mindset or advice.
- Q.05
“How can we stay true to ourselves while exploring different kinds of relationships?”
This question focuses on maintaining personal authenticity while navigating complex relationship structures.
controversy
1- Q.01
“Can you talk about the negative world of [a controversial topic like the manosphere]?”
Asks for the guest's expert take on a broader, often polarizing, cultural trend.
process
1- Q.01
“How can someone start the journey of being brutally honest with themselves?”
This question seeks actionable first steps for listeners based on a concept the guest introduced.
personal
1- Q.01
“Have you worked with someone with a toxic trait who successfully did the work to change?”
This question seeks a real-world example to provide hope and illustrate that change is possible.
industry
1- Q.01
“Culturally, do you find that different countries treat relationships differently?”
When a guest has international experience, she broadens the scope to discuss cultural impacts.
Signature segments
- · "It's The Kink Consultant Podcast..." intro
Topics covered repeatedly
Who gets booked here
The show books authors, coaches, researchers, and professional matchmakers in adjacent fields like relationship counseling, addiction recovery, and sexual health. Guests are asked to apply their expertise to the specific context of the kink community.
- Simone Milasason Relationship Advice for Kinky Couples with Simone Milasas
- Matt Salison Emotional Masculinity: Breaking Down Toxic Masculinity and the Manosphere with Matt Salis
- Shea Primuson Finding Your Kinky Match: A Conversation with Kink Matchmaker Shea Primus
- Athena Galeon How to Be Kinky as a Parent: Raising A Child Without Losing Your Dynamic with Athena Gale
- Connell Barretton How to Bring Up Kink Without Sounding Creepy with Connell Barrett
Where to find this show
Audience & reach
No sponsors were identified in the provided evidence. Based on the content, estimated sponsor categories would include wellness brands, relationship apps, sex-positive retailers, and educational platforms.
Subscriber and view counts are pulled live from YouTube and re-verified on a 30-day cycle. Listener estimates for the RSS feed aren't published here unless they're host-verified.
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People also ask
- Who is the host?
- The host is Amanda Dames, a Certified Sexologist and Somatica® Sex and Relationship Coach.
- Is the podcast still active?
- Yes, the podcast releases new episodes on a weekly basis, as of mid-2026.
- What is the format of the show?
- It is an interview-based podcast where Amanda Dames has a 45-60 minute conversation with a single guest, who is typically an expert in a related field.
- Where can I listen to the podcast?
- The podcast is available on major platforms like Apple Podcasts and YouTube, and has an official website at thekinkconsultant.com.
- What kind of topics are discussed?
- The show covers D/s dynamics, power exchange, consent, communication, sexual identity, open relationships, and the psychology of desire.
Built from the show's public RSS feed, YouTube, the host's own websites, and the cited sources below. Computed and AI-extracted fields are labelled. Facts only — no private info, no fabrication, no transcripts republished.
Sources & how this page was built
This page is AI-assisted, grounded in the public sources cited below, and host-verifiable. We publish facts only; we do not republish transcripts. If anything here is wrong, the host can claim and correct the page above.Model: gemini-2.5-pro · high confidence
- [01]Official Websiteamandadames.com
- [02]Amanda Dames - PodMatch Profilepodmatch.com
- [03]Amanda Dames, ABS - American Board of Sexologyamericanboardofsexology.com
- [04]The Kink Consultant - Podchaserpodchaser.com
- [05]The Kink Consultant - Apple Podcastspodcasts.apple.com
- [06]Guest Appearance on Untoxicated Podcastuntoxicatedpodcast.com
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