Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

“What is your advice from the get-go for this parent?”

Reena Ninan often asks this immediately after reading a listener's letter to get Dr. Damour's top-level, most critical advice first.

“How should a parent talk to their tween/teen about [a difficult topic like ADHD or sexuality]?”

This question format is used to solicit scripts and strategies for sensitive conversations.

“What are the warning signs parents should look out for?”

A frequent question to help parents differentiate between normal adolescent behavior and issues requiring intervention.

“Can we put this into practical experience? How do you approach this with your child?”

Reena Ninan uses this to translate Dr. Damour's psychological concepts into concrete, real-world actions for parents.

“What do you do about [a specific practical dilemma, like sleepover rules]?”

Used to tackle the logistical, everyday challenges that arise from larger psychological issues.

“How do you help a child navigate an unsupportive community or social situation?”

This question focuses on building resilience and finding support when the external environment is hostile.

“If someone is wondering if their kid has [condition], what should they look for?”

A common way to frame a discussion around symptoms and the path to diagnosis, without offering a diagnosis.

“Would you recommend parents watch this with their kids?”

A practical question asked after analyzing a piece of media to guide parents on co-viewing.

“How do you know if this is just a phase?”

This question addresses a common parental fear and allows Dr. Damour to discuss developmental stages versus long-term identity.

“What does this show/book get right about the adolescent experience?”

When discussing media, this question is used to evaluate its authenticity and use it as a learning tool.

“How can you reframe [a condition like ADHD] from a deficit to a strength?”

This question seeks a mindset shift, focusing on the potential upsides of neurodiversity or challenging traits.

“How do you change a generational cycle of behavior, like anger?”

This question broadens a specific family issue into a larger discussion about breaking inherited patterns.